Four months on from our separation and I am at peace. In fact, I found peace some time ago but didn't fully recognise it until I hit publish on my post "Three Months On". Then, just like the cliched lightning bolt, it hit me: I am happy. In fact, I am happier than I have been in a long time. Perhaps the happiest I have ever been. Certainly, I still feel down from time to time - we all do - none of us are immune to illness and exhaustion. But I bounce back quickly and those dark days of despair are nothing more than a distant, fading memory.
The greatest gift of my solitude and subsequently the people I have met since being on my own, has been finding myself. I love the person that I am today and I no longer feel the need to suppress my true self. Without a doubt I will continue to learn about myself - especially as I expand my horizons - but here's what I've learned thus far:
One Month On:
Living without a partner is less lonely than living with an absent partner
No matter how much of a drag dishes are, I still prefer to do them myself
I can kill cockroaches with nothing more than a tissue separating my hand from the pest
Ditto to daddy-long-legs (I am yet to encounter any REALLY scary spiders)
Picking up takeaways is less convenient than cooking
In the absence of grocery supplies, picking up takeaways is STILL less convenient than a trip to the supermarket
I am quite capable of putting petrol in my car
Things that go bump in the night are highly unlikely to be sinister
There are just two things I miss about living with a partner - the first is having someone to take out the rubbish
The second is intimacy.
Two Months On:
Living without a partner is less lonely than living with an absent partner
Once in a while it would be nice to have someone else do the dishes
Birds are paralysed by fear and are very easy to pick up and carry outside
Rosie isn't the smartest of cats
You can find the most purest of friends in the least likeliest of people
Open and honest communication at all times is a must
Petrol is expensive
Separation can be good for your health - I have suffered noticeably fewer migraines and have lost 5kg
Taking out the rubbish isn't that much of a chore - even in the rain
Sincere, powerful, all-engulfing, nourishing, and caring hugs are delicious.
Three Months On:
Living without a partner is less lonely than living with an absent partner
It takes less energy to just do the dishes than it takes to complain about them as you still end up having to do the mundane job
Preying Mantis spend considerably less time praying then they do tormenting pets and children
Cat fur does not camouflage well on polished wooden floors
You never stop learning from the people around you
Open and honest communication at all times makes for the most interesting conversations
Stepping outside of your comfort zones is incredibly exciting and satisfying
Separation IS good for your health: fewer migraines, blood pressure and cholesterol both back to normal, and I have now lost 8kg and counting
You can never have too much of a good thing
Once you find peace with the present, you no longer feel concern for the future.
Four Months On:
Your partner (or absence there of) does not define you
Maintaining a clean and tidy kitchen all on your own is immensely satisfying
Spiders should be admired for their perseverance in spinning webs
Houses with polished wooden floors and no carpet are cold
You never stop learning from the people around you
Specialists are human - just like the rest of us - and not to be feared
I am stronger than I have ever imagined myself to be
Walking in the rain is soul refreshing
Never settle for less than what you deserve
Smiles - like happiness - are infectious.
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