I am trying to navigate a fucking difficult decision.
There are two extreme camps in regards to COVID-19 vaccines - each with their own agenda and both ignoring any evidence contradicting their own beliefs and preconceived ideas.
I have friends on both sides, with very few joining me on the fence.
Initially, we were sold on vaccinations as our best weapon to protect not only ourselves, but the vulnerable people in our communities. However, it turns out that even fully vaccinated, we can both contract the virus and still pass it on to those vulnerable people.
So now the main benefit of vaccination is minimising how sick we will get if we contract the virus. It is no longer about protecting others, but rather, protecting ourselves.
I chose to have the vaccine because I believed the risk of me getting sick if I get the virus outweighed the risk of me having an adverse reaction to the vaccine.
I was wrong.
I now feel the risk of me having a life threatening reaction to a second dose outweighs the risk of me having life threatening complications if I were to contract the virus.
I am privileged to live in a country where there are currently no cases in the community. So I have the luxury of taking my time to think through what is best for me.
By the end of the year, we will have a third vaccine in the country that has a high rate of efficacy and a lower rate of side effects and adverse reactions than the Pfizer and AstraZeneca vaccines. Perhaps it might be better for me to wait for that.
I am seriously torn.
I want to protect the vulnerable. But I AM one of the vulnerable. I need to think about protecting myself.
So I have been evaluating the information that is available via both news and social media. Applying my critical social scientist lens to published articles.
The general consensus seems to be that the rate of infection, serious illness, and death is lower in those fully vaccinated. (Yes, those things can still happen, but the odds are statistically significantly lower.)
The problem is, the pandemic is constantly evolving and we just don't know where it is going. All we can do is theorise. We don't know what the long-term side effects are of any of the vaccines. Nor do we know what the long-term effects are of COVID-19. We just don't know.
We are ALL in an experiment - whether we like it or not. I have the luxury of living in a country where due to the availability of vaccines, I can choose which control group I participate in. And I can make my decision safely in the knowledge that should we find any cases in the community, our government will act fast and hard to protect the public.
That's a pretty damned privileged position for me to be in.
And for that, I am extremely grateful.
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