I have been battling chronic fatigue for over a year now - following adverse reactions to not one, but two different experimental cocktails. Apparently I have all the symptoms of Long COVID; despite never having had COVID-19. Go figure.
My body feels broken. Walking short distances leaves me breathless and my muscles are so weak that I can barely lift the lightest of weights. A far cry from the 6.5km coastal walks I used to be able to complete in just over an hour; and the 55min BodyPump classes lifting increasingly heavier weights.
Over the past year I have piled on the weight and lost muscle tone and flexibility. I have tried multiple times to get back into regular exercise but each time I do, I crash physically and mentally; and it takes me several days to recover. Which is incredibly demotivating to say the least!
So I did some research and apparently what I am experiencing not only is a "thing", but it has a medical name: Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM); also referred to as Post-Exertional Symptom Exacerbation (PESE) or Post-Exertional Neuroimmune Exhaustion (PENE) Awesome.
What I have discovered - both through lived experience and research, any kind of exercises that pushes me to exertion is bad, bad, BAD. Seriously bad. But this is all I know! When I lost 13.5kg over a decade ago (which I have since found again - and then some!) I did so by pushing myself at ever-increasing rates to walk further and faster. And when that no longer felt sufficiently challenging, I started doing Mat and Reformer Pilates classes. The latter allowed me to increase the weights - so satiated my need to push myself a little bit more each time. Until I was told "no more increases or you'll start looking like a body-builder". Bah-humbug. (Okay, I didn't want to look like a body-builder. But I needed to feel like I had worked myself! Those damn post-exercise endorphins are SO addictive!!)
Anyway. . . Apparently BMI's are a terrible measure of one's health. [Insert sarcastic tone] Who knew? And a better measure is the Waist to Height Ratio as this measure visceral fat (the fat around your organs). Visceral fat is evil. Pure evil. So to get back within a healthy range (and minimise my risk of diabetes, heart disease, and stroke) I need to shed at least 33cm from my waist. Overwhelming much??
So it was time to put on my Wellness Coach hat and have a serious conversation with myself (no, I'm not schizophrenic). With loving-kindness. Just as I do with my clients.
SMART goal:
To shed at least 33cm from my waist by my 48th birthday; and keep it off for the rest of my life!
Specific, check.
Measurable, check.
Achievable, check.
Realistic, check.
Timely, check.
BUT!! I must not push myself to exertion. Damn it.
I needed something other than the endorphin rush to motivate me.
Well, it turns out I am a magpie who enjoys having her ego stroked. I have always been motivated by certificates, ribbons, and trophies.
But I am never ever going to enter any kind of marathon-type competition. I am competitive, yes, but I need something way more cerebral than that to keep me entertained!
Then recently a friend cycled the length of Aotearoa New Zealand. No, I am not about to take up road cycling and I have ZERO desire to cycle the length of the country. But what I am interested in, is that she recorded the kms she traveled against a virtual challenge. Not only did this challenge provide her were rewards along the way, but it rewarded her with a big shiny medal at the end. Bonus!!
It turns out there are a number of these challenges - of varying lengths - to complete. The rewards are virtual postcards (pity - I would love to receive real postcards in my letter box) along with facts and trivia about each of the stages you reach during the challenge. Which is perfect to keep my brain entertained and my ego motivated. And did I mention the big shiny medal at the end??
So today I signed up. Invested $$ that I don't really have to spare. And attempted to log yesterday's walk (was too fatigued to walk today). Turns out you can't record activities prior to officially starting the challenge. Fair enough, I guess. But I wanted to reward myself for yesterday's effort; so recorded it against today's date. No, it's not cheating. I did the walk; I deserve the credit. I rest my case.
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